When There's Sexual Tension
You look at her from across the coffee shop. You guys are face flirting back and forth. You finally make a move and go talk to her. There is tension. Lots of tension.
But you want to feel comfortable. And you want her to be relaxed. But how do you go about this? You reveal too much about yourself. Talk too fast. No pauses, no silences.
There's Another Way
A better way. If you feel nervous, if you start to feel that tension – and you know she does too – you want to reduce the tension with something physical, not something verbal.
You see, when a man and a woman meet, at first there's lots of tension. Trying to reduce it with talking is natural. We all do this. It's automatic.
But instead, if you reduced the tension by making a physical move (like grabbing her hand) you would not only relieve some of your nervousness (and hers) you would also make attraction mutual. In other words, you would be rewarded for making each other comfortable. Unfortunately, you don't often get rewarded for making women feel comfortable with your words and stories. Once that magical feeling goes away, you're usually left with nothing.
The best time to grab her hand is during these moments of tension. Unfortunately, these feelings are strongest at the beginning of a new interaction – so we have to escalate at the beginning.
When I'm talking to a new girl, my heart is beating and there' sexual tension – I just feel like grabbing her hand. And I also feel like she wants me to do it. Now we are more comfortable. We can relax a bit and have a real conversation. But I've also gotten something out of it – Our connection has become real and official. The seduction is now mutual.
